Infantilism in adults: the phenomenon of the "eternal child" in psychology and society

Infantilism in adulthood is not just a domestic term for describing a light-hearted person, but a complex psychological and socio-adaptive phenomenon. It is characterized by the retention of traits, behavioral models, and ways of thinking typical of earlier age periods. In the scientific discourse, this phenomenon is more often referred to as psychosocial immaturity or personal immaturity, indicating its comprehensive nature, affecting the emotional, volitional, and social spheres.

Key characteristics: beyond whims

Infantilism manifests not in individual actions, but in systemic characteristics of the personality:

1. Emotional regulation (affective immaturity): A characteristic of an infantile adult is emotional lability — rapid, intense, often inappropriate emotional reactions to situations (tantrums, grievances, elations). The external locus of control prevails: responsibility for failures is attributed to external circumstances ("the boss is picky", "it's only for others"), while successes are ascribed to oneself. The ability to delay gratification and patience is minimal. An interesting fact: neurobiological studies indicate a possible connection between such traits and a less active prefrontal cortex, responsible for impulse control and long-term planning.

2. Cognitive style: Thinking is characterized by egocentrism — difficulty in taking the perspective of another person. The world is perceived through the prism of one's own desires and needs. Magical thinking is present — belief in the possibility that desired things can happen spontaneously, without effort, or due to external forces ("it will all be fine", "they will save me").

3. Social and volitional sphere: There is no clear personal self-determination, life goals are vague or borrowed. There is a hyper-reliance on the social environment (parents, partner, friends) in solving domestic, financial, and emotional tasks. Responsibility for one's life, health, and well-being is delegated to others. A vivid example is the so-called kidults — adults who consciously cultivate childhood interests (comics, video games, collectible toys), which in itself is not a pathology, but in combination with a refusal to take on adult social roles, becomes a marker of it.

Etiology: why does an adult remain a child?

The causes of infantilism are multifaceted and often have a combined nature:

• Family upbringing: The most studied factor. This is overprotection ("greenhouse conditions"), where parents shield the child from any difficulties, or, conversely, authoritarian control, suppressing initiative and not allowing to learn to make independent decisions. The parental attitude "the most important is to study well, the rest we will do for you" programs the inability to solve practical life tasks.

• Socio-cultural context: Modern consumer society and the cult of effortless success (myths about startups, "success stories" on social networks) encourage hedonism and quick results. The cult of youth and beauty as the highest value also indirectly devalues traditional "adult" virtues: wisdom, experience, patience. Economic instability and the extension of the period of education (up to 25 years and later) objectively prolong the period of social and financial dependence on parents.

• Psychological trauma: Sometimes infantilism is a form of psychological defense (regression). Facing a severe trauma or chronic stress in adulthood (divorce, job loss, illness), a person unconsciously "regresses" to a more early, safe stage of development where others were responsible for them.

Social consequences and "secondary gains"

Infantilism has serious social costs. For the individual, this is chronic frustration (the world does not correspond to childhood expectations), disorganization in life, unstable relationships (the partner gets tired of playing the role of "parent"), professional unfulfillment. For society, this is an economic burden (supporting adult dependents), demographic risks (refusal to create a family as excessive responsibility), low social and civic activity.

However, this state has hidden gains (secondary gains) that support its existence: the ability to avoid the anxiety associated with making decisions, to relieve oneself of responsibility for failures, and to receive care and attention from others.

Therapy: the path to maturity

Overcoming infantilism is not "correcting the character", but a complex psychological work, often requiring the help of a psychotherapist. Its goals:

1. Insight: The client must see the connection between their childhood behavioral models and current life difficulties.

2. Development of emotional intelligence: Learn to identify, experience, and regulate their emotions, rather than act under their influence.

3. Formation of an internal locus of control: Taking responsibility for one's life, understanding that results depend on one's own actions.

4. Training skills: Developing the ability to plan independently, make decisions, and overcome obstacles.

Thus, adult infantilism is not laziness or whims, but a deficiency of psychosocial competencies formed by a complex of family, personal, and social factors. This is an adaptive but destructive strategy in the long term, allowing to avoid the challenges of adult life, but doomed to dependence and dissatisfaction. The way out of it lies in the painful but necessary mastery of "the muscles of responsibility" and the integration of rejected adult roles into the structure of the personality.

Permanent link to this publication: